You’ve heard about The Great Resignation, The Great Reset and The Great Gaslighting. Either way, people are fed up with workplaces, institutions and systems that are trying to squeeze what they can get out of their employees.
Some of the toxicity is present in interpersonal relations among employees, between manager and employee or you’re caught in the midst of a power play.
Here’s how to identify if your relationship in a workplace (or the workplace itself) is toxic.
If you know something’s not right, you might want to know what your options are and how to navigate the toxicity without increasing your suffering through reputation, economic or professional damage.
Let’s talk about it - ask or comment below and I’ll respond with some ideas or clarifying questions for you.
Noticing a trend that vampires (climb ranks using others knowledge and presenting as their own) in my org are also enablers of dysfunction... Any thoughts on a connection?
I work for a global company and if I were to rate my colleagues work/life boundaries, I'd rate US/Asia (China/MY) colleagues with least and my EU colleagues with the highest boundaries.. Do you think the social protections legislated in Europe are what give those employees a sense of safety and enable higher boundaries? Or is there something in their societies that teaches them these boundaries?
Jul 17, 2022·edited Jul 24, 2022Liked by Nathalie Martinek PhD
The timing is uncanny Dr. Nathalie! I'm due to let my manager know tomorrow that I've accepted another role in a different division. I've been in my current job for just over 6 months, 5 months too many, due to an extremely toxic manager. She lacks boundaries, constantly exhibits narcissistic traits, speaks poorly of others and shares private information about other staff - toxic in many imaginable ways. I'm afraid of having this conversation with her because I know she will immediately cut me down for my decision to leave, despite my making it clear from the beginning that the role itself is not what I has expected. I want to be able to stay strong in the exchange, without having to justify too much to her, but also maintaining a level of respect as I don't wish to burn a bridge. I'm also in talks with a few other staff she has affected so I think it's important to remain as neutral as possible. Would love to know your thoughts please.
My employer set up a LinkedIn profile of me without my permission or compensation. The management views LinkedIn as a tool for engaging with customers and finding connections.. I think its identity theft. Am over reacting to what I view as a privacy transgression?
Supervisor giving lieu days to some and not others based on arbitrary reasons
I was off a day a week due to my mental health (directly related to work place), and supervisor kept team meetings on my day off
No one would tell me what happened during that time
Team member texting me at midnight mad at me
Being told what to like and unlike
Trolled on social media. Pictures taken of my profile with nasty remarks and sent to each other - but came to me by accident, even months after I left.
I would have to apologize for things they found wrong with me. Kept telling me what I was feeling and doing.
Whispering and I would come along and they would stop.
My role changed without clarity. I asked a key question that went against norms and I was punished for it. Others went and complained to supervisor. I wrote down what supervisor said but she denied it. Still changed my role.
Continual role changes and moving of the goalposts.
I was brought to do significant work, and did it, but no recognition and tossed aside when I wasn’t needed anymore.
Colleague would complain about me to someone, while I was there- but the other person would not know.
A lot of gossip.
Supervisor would have extravagant outings with various people- always separate and with lavish food and posted. Created an atmosphere of favouritism, and buying people.
Supervisor on phone whole time when people talking to her- never fully listening.
Too many inappropriate sexual jokes among senior staff.
I never told anyone I worked with, didn’t complain, even to supervisor.
Supervisor looking for ways to get rid of me.
Colleagues treating me very poorly and probably telling bad versions of stories to me to supervisor.
Excluded me from everything at every turn, but any great ideas or work of mind they had to get in on and take over.
Union could not, would not help. Only mediation which made things worse.
I hope it gets better with people opening their eyes. Its really bad. Theres a lot of coercion and manipulation. The worst part is that some people are so used to it they cant see it. When everyone is so calm its easy to start believing there is nothing wrong.
Noticing a trend that vampires (climb ranks using others knowledge and presenting as their own) in my org are also enablers of dysfunction... Any thoughts on a connection?
I work for a global company and if I were to rate my colleagues work/life boundaries, I'd rate US/Asia (China/MY) colleagues with least and my EU colleagues with the highest boundaries.. Do you think the social protections legislated in Europe are what give those employees a sense of safety and enable higher boundaries? Or is there something in their societies that teaches them these boundaries?
The timing is uncanny Dr. Nathalie! I'm due to let my manager know tomorrow that I've accepted another role in a different division. I've been in my current job for just over 6 months, 5 months too many, due to an extremely toxic manager. She lacks boundaries, constantly exhibits narcissistic traits, speaks poorly of others and shares private information about other staff - toxic in many imaginable ways. I'm afraid of having this conversation with her because I know she will immediately cut me down for my decision to leave, despite my making it clear from the beginning that the role itself is not what I has expected. I want to be able to stay strong in the exchange, without having to justify too much to her, but also maintaining a level of respect as I don't wish to burn a bridge. I'm also in talks with a few other staff she has affected so I think it's important to remain as neutral as possible. Would love to know your thoughts please.
My employer set up a LinkedIn profile of me without my permission or compensation. The management views LinkedIn as a tool for engaging with customers and finding connections.. I think its identity theft. Am over reacting to what I view as a privacy transgression?
Exactly!
After workplace abuse, how do you manage your social media regarding the workplace network? Should you block potential flying monkeys and abusers?
Supervisor giving lieu days to some and not others based on arbitrary reasons
I was off a day a week due to my mental health (directly related to work place), and supervisor kept team meetings on my day off
No one would tell me what happened during that time
Team member texting me at midnight mad at me
Being told what to like and unlike
Trolled on social media. Pictures taken of my profile with nasty remarks and sent to each other - but came to me by accident, even months after I left.
I would have to apologize for things they found wrong with me. Kept telling me what I was feeling and doing.
Whispering and I would come along and they would stop.
My role changed without clarity. I asked a key question that went against norms and I was punished for it. Others went and complained to supervisor. I wrote down what supervisor said but she denied it. Still changed my role.
Continual role changes and moving of the goalposts.
I was brought to do significant work, and did it, but no recognition and tossed aside when I wasn’t needed anymore.
Colleague would complain about me to someone, while I was there- but the other person would not know.
A lot of gossip.
Supervisor would have extravagant outings with various people- always separate and with lavish food and posted. Created an atmosphere of favouritism, and buying people.
Supervisor on phone whole time when people talking to her- never fully listening.
Too many inappropriate sexual jokes among senior staff.
I never told anyone I worked with, didn’t complain, even to supervisor.
Supervisor looking for ways to get rid of me.
Colleagues treating me very poorly and probably telling bad versions of stories to me to supervisor.
Excluded me from everything at every turn, but any great ideas or work of mind they had to get in on and take over.
Union could not, would not help. Only mediation which made things worse.
I became depressed.
I left. Got a new role.
I hope it gets better with people opening their eyes. Its really bad. Theres a lot of coercion and manipulation. The worst part is that some people are so used to it they cant see it. When everyone is so calm its easy to start believing there is nothing wrong.