Burnout has dominated discourses about workplace issues for years, even before the pandemic and the Great Resignation, Quiet Quitting, moral injury and other trendy terms.
It’s an issue that has been a deep interest of mine (ok, maybe it’s an obsession) since my own experience of burnout during my postdoctoral studies that led me to make the difficult decision to leave academia and the prestige of being a career scientist. Even though I’ve never looked back and other ways to express my scientist self found me, I still wanted to find the root causes of suffering and ways of mitigating it…and that’s what eventually led me to narcissism hacking and relational practice. But enough about me…
Burnout matters because it disrupts all other areas of life and can lead to self-harm, addiction and death by suicide.
I know what the literature and business magazines say about burnout and how to prevent it but the story is deeper than that. As with any phenomenon that impacts people globally, there is more to the story than what the popular and pervasive narratives tell.
So, Hacking Narcissism community and other readers:
What do you think are the (root) causes (not symptoms) of burnout?
What have you learned from navigating your own experiences of burnout or witnessing others’ experiences of burnout?
My forthcoming piece is on workplace burnout prevention with a twist. I am aiming to get it out in the next few days so I’m hopeful there will be a robust discussion here. Your contributions to this discussion will also be a much needed diversion-distraction from the personal stressors that are also occupying my life at the moment. I’m looking forward to reading your comments!
1. Unworked family of origin issues, for example pleasing authority figures, acclimated to highly invalidating environments.
2. All efforts going to meeting the needs of the organization without honoring my own needs (having a fulfilling hobby or side gig)
3. Buying into the America societal norm that 'productively', 'the grind' is ideal rather than relaxation and restoration is a human need that should be prioritized.
In my experience, burnout occurred due to working with a Narcissist. Taking on too much work that I wasn’t compensated for, feeling sorry for the ‘boss’ who was struggling with mental health and therefore taking on a majority of their workload only to have the stress then land on my shoulders. All of this combined with drive for achievement/ acceptance and poor boundaries, as well as difficult circumstances in my personal life - the perfect storm. I couldn’t even recognise the signs that it was coming, let alone being able to say no.
What I learned was that there are many signs in the lead up to burnout and you need to practice self care and set strong boundaries. Also prioritising, not everything needs to be completed right now although when you are already a high performing anxious mess it seems like everything has a sense of urgency, further exacerbating the problem.
The sense of urgency fools us every time - as if the world will end and the institution will fall apart if we don't do things as expected or in the desired timeframe. We can get swept up into a culture of urgency and exploitation, especially with a narcissistic boss at the helm.
Noticing the early warning signs in your body, mind and relationally can inform of what's imminent. The issues arise when we try to make change and those who have become dependent on exploiting us won't like it!
I’ll jump in and say that my cyclical burnout was incredibly frustrating because it didn’t have an “obvious” reason. I basically crashed and burned every 18 months and switched jobs, trying to find a “better fit,” which never did show up. What helped the most was opening the door to consider I might be neurodiverse. I was late-diagnosed with autism at age 36, after a lifetime of masking and dissociating. My social and teamwork skills have never come from a place of instinct, but of intellect — I was memorizing and acting and reading scripts in my head just to make it through each day (not to mention doing my actual job, which usually involved some kind of editing). With the awareness that comes with such a diagnosis, it’s helped me discover that my cognitive processing is effectively “slowed down” if I only hear something audibly. I can’t digest knowledge until I’ve written it down and played out my response/thoughts/analysis on paper, too. Knowing this now, I can see why I was in a near-constant state of panic because everyone expected me to chime in during meetings or to manage long phone calls. And I had no language to describe what I was going through. Burnout involved a lot (like years) of hiding my pain and panic attacks. It takes its toll in a lot of ways.
I’m still not sure how to re-enter the workforce in a healthy way that won’t drive me into what feels like inevitable burnout. Substack is kind of my experiment to see if I can work and remain reasonably healthy too. We’ll see.
Looking forward to hearing how others are working through burnout. 🧡
Thank you so much Amanda for describing your experience of burnout from having to conform to dominant workplace norms and behaviours. I'm seeing more women over 40 refer to Autism burnout. The language I tend to use that acknowledges this is assimilation, assimilation distress and trauma. We enter workplaces that are formed and shaped by others who easily fit the norm and everyone is expected to just 'fit in' by adjusting themselves accordingly. There is no discussion of accommodations unless you're in a more enlightened workplace and workers are expected to perform according to expectations unless they're able to articulate their needs and expected behaviours to everyone they work with, which can also be taxing, and filled with self-judgement about coming across as demanding.
Workplaces need to be vetted during interviews with specific questions about expectations and how they support neurodivergent people to perform at their best even if they do things differently to cultural norms. In my experience, the team is everything even if the workplace is full of bad processes. If a team values everyone as they are and it's modelled by everyone (not just talked about), it makes a difference.
The problems start when the desire to prove oneself at the beginning of a new role can establish a precedent and impression that is hard to shift. Being aware of our own tendencies to please authorities (not saying this is what you do but common for so many women) as we settle into a new job can be the first place to assert boundaries with ourselves to lower the expectation bar. This has helped my clients who tend to be people pleasers back themselves more from the start.
I hope Substack can help you generate whatever you need to preserve your wellbeing and connect you with others!
Jun 13, 2023·edited Jun 13, 2023Liked by Nathalie Martinek PhD
This reminded that the social aspect was a challenge for me too. I’m not sure if I am ND or not, but I am easily drained and introvert. I have been critiqued for not “speaking up enough”. I feel you.
2. What I have learned is going back into a similar environment adds another layer to burnout that gets worse and worse as you keep repeating the same things. It’s not worth going back to work even, if you can help it. I’m testing now if it will help, but I am switching back to going to school. I think that you will experience a sort of PTSD effect if you keep having the same experiences. If you can not work for awhile, don’t.
I fully agree that returning to the same traumatising environment can exacerbate underlying issues and lead to PTSD. We can't heal in the place that caused and continues to perpetuate harmful structures and behaviours. Power to you Julia for going back to school and working out your own alternative career path.
For me, there have been several elements - managing organizational change and my job tasks without support, lack of career advancement in relation to achievement, lack of morale, extreme income inequality between staff and management, and lack of accountability.
Jun 14, 2023·edited Jun 14, 2023Liked by Nathalie Martinek PhD
Unfortunately for me, leaving these workplaces has negatively impacted my career and led to a lot of job change and periods of unemployment. I’ve seen negative impacts on former colleagues as well. What we need is accountability, sadly.
We need accountability but that would require an institution to admit wrongdoing, which has legal implications for them. It's a big ask for these places committed to protecting itself.
I have a follow up question based on what you shared above. Feel free to respond only if you feel up to it. The question is: were you involved in leading organisational change or were you impacted by those imposing changes in structures without providing support? What did consultation and communication about changes look like?
Yes, I understand. For me, I don't see these patterns changing without it - there would have to be legal and cultural changes in North America. It was being impacted by job change without consultation - the poor communication led to me leaving the organization. It's a long story, but my job was to be restructured with more tasks and areas of specialization. I was told it was happening, but I wasn't part of any discussions on what that could look like. I was told to my face by my boss that in these decisions it did not matter if I was happy (she claimed she was passing down upper management's thoughts, which I believe they did feel this way). No support for retraining, told to teach myself highly technical skills using YouTube. I consulted the union, but they actually helped management to make job changes without any issues for them and also discussed changes without me present.
The burnout piece is finally out!
Here she is: https://nathaliemartinekphd.substack.com/p/saviour
In my experience, root level burnout is due to:
1. Unworked family of origin issues, for example pleasing authority figures, acclimated to highly invalidating environments.
2. All efforts going to meeting the needs of the organization without honoring my own needs (having a fulfilling hobby or side gig)
3. Buying into the America societal norm that 'productively', 'the grind' is ideal rather than relaxation and restoration is a human need that should be prioritized.
Burnout.
Doing the same job over and over again and getting the same results.
i.e. nothing new, no advancement, no recognition, little cost benefit (pay vs effort).
Lack of meaning, monotony and growth will certainly be a soul sucking job. Thank you for weighing in Antipodes!
In my experience, burnout occurred due to working with a Narcissist. Taking on too much work that I wasn’t compensated for, feeling sorry for the ‘boss’ who was struggling with mental health and therefore taking on a majority of their workload only to have the stress then land on my shoulders. All of this combined with drive for achievement/ acceptance and poor boundaries, as well as difficult circumstances in my personal life - the perfect storm. I couldn’t even recognise the signs that it was coming, let alone being able to say no.
What I learned was that there are many signs in the lead up to burnout and you need to practice self care and set strong boundaries. Also prioritising, not everything needs to be completed right now although when you are already a high performing anxious mess it seems like everything has a sense of urgency, further exacerbating the problem.
Love following your work!
Oooh Melisah - that boss was super manipulative and seems to fit the bill of covert narcissistic boss: https://nathaliemartinekphd.substack.com/p/13-ways-to-spot-covert-narcissism
The sense of urgency fools us every time - as if the world will end and the institution will fall apart if we don't do things as expected or in the desired timeframe. We can get swept up into a culture of urgency and exploitation, especially with a narcissistic boss at the helm.
Noticing the early warning signs in your body, mind and relationally can inform of what's imminent. The issues arise when we try to make change and those who have become dependent on exploiting us won't like it!
Thank you for following my work Melisah!
Thank you! Great article
This is a big topic you’re tackling. 🫶
I’ll jump in and say that my cyclical burnout was incredibly frustrating because it didn’t have an “obvious” reason. I basically crashed and burned every 18 months and switched jobs, trying to find a “better fit,” which never did show up. What helped the most was opening the door to consider I might be neurodiverse. I was late-diagnosed with autism at age 36, after a lifetime of masking and dissociating. My social and teamwork skills have never come from a place of instinct, but of intellect — I was memorizing and acting and reading scripts in my head just to make it through each day (not to mention doing my actual job, which usually involved some kind of editing). With the awareness that comes with such a diagnosis, it’s helped me discover that my cognitive processing is effectively “slowed down” if I only hear something audibly. I can’t digest knowledge until I’ve written it down and played out my response/thoughts/analysis on paper, too. Knowing this now, I can see why I was in a near-constant state of panic because everyone expected me to chime in during meetings or to manage long phone calls. And I had no language to describe what I was going through. Burnout involved a lot (like years) of hiding my pain and panic attacks. It takes its toll in a lot of ways.
I’m still not sure how to re-enter the workforce in a healthy way that won’t drive me into what feels like inevitable burnout. Substack is kind of my experiment to see if I can work and remain reasonably healthy too. We’ll see.
Looking forward to hearing how others are working through burnout. 🧡
Thank you so much Amanda for describing your experience of burnout from having to conform to dominant workplace norms and behaviours. I'm seeing more women over 40 refer to Autism burnout. The language I tend to use that acknowledges this is assimilation, assimilation distress and trauma. We enter workplaces that are formed and shaped by others who easily fit the norm and everyone is expected to just 'fit in' by adjusting themselves accordingly. There is no discussion of accommodations unless you're in a more enlightened workplace and workers are expected to perform according to expectations unless they're able to articulate their needs and expected behaviours to everyone they work with, which can also be taxing, and filled with self-judgement about coming across as demanding.
Workplaces need to be vetted during interviews with specific questions about expectations and how they support neurodivergent people to perform at their best even if they do things differently to cultural norms. In my experience, the team is everything even if the workplace is full of bad processes. If a team values everyone as they are and it's modelled by everyone (not just talked about), it makes a difference.
The problems start when the desire to prove oneself at the beginning of a new role can establish a precedent and impression that is hard to shift. Being aware of our own tendencies to please authorities (not saying this is what you do but common for so many women) as we settle into a new job can be the first place to assert boundaries with ourselves to lower the expectation bar. This has helped my clients who tend to be people pleasers back themselves more from the start.
I hope Substack can help you generate whatever you need to preserve your wellbeing and connect you with others!
Thank you!
This reminded that the social aspect was a challenge for me too. I’m not sure if I am ND or not, but I am easily drained and introvert. I have been critiqued for not “speaking up enough”. I feel you.
2. What I have learned is going back into a similar environment adds another layer to burnout that gets worse and worse as you keep repeating the same things. It’s not worth going back to work even, if you can help it. I’m testing now if it will help, but I am switching back to going to school. I think that you will experience a sort of PTSD effect if you keep having the same experiences. If you can not work for awhile, don’t.
I fully agree that returning to the same traumatising environment can exacerbate underlying issues and lead to PTSD. We can't heal in the place that caused and continues to perpetuate harmful structures and behaviours. Power to you Julia for going back to school and working out your own alternative career path.
For me, there have been several elements - managing organizational change and my job tasks without support, lack of career advancement in relation to achievement, lack of morale, extreme income inequality between staff and management, and lack of accountability.
Thanks Julia! I’m with you re: not retuning to the same workplace. Once you see the inefficiencies & lack of support structures you can’t unsee it.
Unfortunately for me, leaving these workplaces has negatively impacted my career and led to a lot of job change and periods of unemployment. I’ve seen negative impacts on former colleagues as well. What we need is accountability, sadly.
We need accountability but that would require an institution to admit wrongdoing, which has legal implications for them. It's a big ask for these places committed to protecting itself.
I have a follow up question based on what you shared above. Feel free to respond only if you feel up to it. The question is: were you involved in leading organisational change or were you impacted by those imposing changes in structures without providing support? What did consultation and communication about changes look like?
Yes, I understand. For me, I don't see these patterns changing without it - there would have to be legal and cultural changes in North America. It was being impacted by job change without consultation - the poor communication led to me leaving the organization. It's a long story, but my job was to be restructured with more tasks and areas of specialization. I was told it was happening, but I wasn't part of any discussions on what that could look like. I was told to my face by my boss that in these decisions it did not matter if I was happy (she claimed she was passing down upper management's thoughts, which I believe they did feel this way). No support for retraining, told to teach myself highly technical skills using YouTube. I consulted the union, but they actually helped management to make job changes without any issues for them and also discussed changes without me present.