Thank you Lanesha for your comment about forgiveness. I see your perspective about forgiveness and that it's a concept and practice that is meaningful, empowering and comforting to you. The concept of forgiveness is not toxic. But when someone tells the other person who is in pain that forgiveness will set them free, and that other person doesn't hold that religious belief, hasn't had space to fully process and make sense of their distress or have been seriously abused/hurt by the person causing distress, the statement can come across as insensitive and pushing the person to take an action that they're not actually ready to take. Forgiveness requires acceptance of one's reality, feelings and circumstances first to truly be free from the pain. Otherwise, forgiving others when they're still hurtful or if there's still resentment is called emotional/spiritual bypassing and won't provide the necessary learning and inner resolution to prevent being hurt in the same way in the future.
It would be great if all of us can easily let go of our emotional pain through forgiveness but I believe the purpose of our emotions is to feel them and hear their messages until the charge is released and we naturally move into a place of peace without forcing or shaming ourselves or others to get there.
The person who is responsible for wrongdoing is not the wronged's concerns. They have to make peace between themselves and God/their conscience and it's work they need to do themselves and no one else's actions will change that. Forgiving the wrongdoer, in my opinion, is not necessary for me to resolve the issue within myself (with the right support) and my job isn't to bring someone else to salvation through forgiving them. It's entirely on them to work themselves out and reap the consequences of their actions without my intervention.
I really enjoyed reading your article. I am a couples therapist. A lot of partners suffer from their partner’s obsession with being positive. It’s a coping mechanism many of us learn in the face of a disconnection and in the face of a partner expressing their upset.
Forgiving others is NOT toxic positivity. We are to forgive others and yes it does to help set people free. Holding grudges, bitterness, anger, hurt, and etc is what keeps people in bondage. Stress or depress with growing darkness inside of them. Forgiveness does not mean to excuse and condone what someone do to you. It is to look past the sin or issue to not take it personally and give that person space or time to realize their wrongdoings. If not, God will handle them.
Thank you Lanesha for your comment about forgiveness. I see your perspective about forgiveness and that it's a concept and practice that is meaningful, empowering and comforting to you. The concept of forgiveness is not toxic. But when someone tells the other person who is in pain that forgiveness will set them free, and that other person doesn't hold that religious belief, hasn't had space to fully process and make sense of their distress or have been seriously abused/hurt by the person causing distress, the statement can come across as insensitive and pushing the person to take an action that they're not actually ready to take. Forgiveness requires acceptance of one's reality, feelings and circumstances first to truly be free from the pain. Otherwise, forgiving others when they're still hurtful or if there's still resentment is called emotional/spiritual bypassing and won't provide the necessary learning and inner resolution to prevent being hurt in the same way in the future.
It would be great if all of us can easily let go of our emotional pain through forgiveness but I believe the purpose of our emotions is to feel them and hear their messages until the charge is released and we naturally move into a place of peace without forcing or shaming ourselves or others to get there.
The person who is responsible for wrongdoing is not the wronged's concerns. They have to make peace between themselves and God/their conscience and it's work they need to do themselves and no one else's actions will change that. Forgiving the wrongdoer, in my opinion, is not necessary for me to resolve the issue within myself (with the right support) and my job isn't to bring someone else to salvation through forgiving them. It's entirely on them to work themselves out and reap the consequences of their actions without my intervention.
Is that how you understand forgiveness?
I really enjoyed reading your article. I am a couples therapist. A lot of partners suffer from their partner’s obsession with being positive. It’s a coping mechanism many of us learn in the face of a disconnection and in the face of a partner expressing their upset.
Forgiving others is NOT toxic positivity. We are to forgive others and yes it does to help set people free. Holding grudges, bitterness, anger, hurt, and etc is what keeps people in bondage. Stress or depress with growing darkness inside of them. Forgiveness does not mean to excuse and condone what someone do to you. It is to look past the sin or issue to not take it personally and give that person space or time to realize their wrongdoings. If not, God will handle them.