Christopher Rufo and Josh Slocum might have some decent insights if they could get off the "women are to blame for everything" train. I have watched a couple of Josh's videos. He is a bully. This was my first encounter with Rufo and it will be my last. IMO linking to their sites is condoning so I think I should leave this here:
And from Margaret Joe, a member of the Yukon Legislative Assembly,
a brief quote by Margaret Atwood.
“‘Why do men feel threatened by women?’ I asked a male friend of mine.
“‘They are afraid women will laugh at them’, he said, ‘undercut their world view.’
“Then I asked some women students, ‘Why do women feel threatened by men?’ “‘They are afraid of being killed,’ they said.”
Hansard transcript from the 2nd session of the 27th Legislature (December 5, 1990).
That's excellent advice and No is a great response and I'm restacking this, thank you.
If you choose to raise your voice - edging into aggression from assertiveness, I know - I find that OUT is louder than NO; a tip I got from Best Paw Forward, a canine obedience class I took back in 20th-century Chicago. With practice I could break up dog scuffles; at the height of my powers - I had three huskies - it worked on drunk teenagers, no kidding. You needn't take my word, of course; a little A/B testing will tell you which works better for you and perhaps suggest alternatives. I find a bass growl works wonders, but that's, ah, eccentric.
Any plans for an ebook version, Nathalie? Would love to buy but the cost of shipping the print book to Australia doubles the price. I also think if you had an ebook option it would sell like hotcakes! So many of us could benefit from it.
That's funny given what I said to someone last night which was "No nu nu nu nu nu o na na na no NO NO." .......about three times. She was coming at me with a metronome while I was playing the song we were rehearsing. Since our director wasn't there that night she decided she would direct me. PAH! I just kept playing. When she said it was too fast, I sped it up a bit. Trust me, if you knew all the back stories (which I will spare you...) you would know that as SOON as there is a lack of leadership she tries to take over. As SOON as you give her an inch she has something negative or PRIVATE to say about someone. She is relentless. Then she said "we should do #347 next" to which I replied. "okay everyone , open your hymnals to 123" .........N.....................o.....!
As you age and hopefully gain some wisdom and no longer care what anyone thinks about you, it becomes easier to say no. One thing I say NO to is the endless advertising and marketing that seeps into every corner of my privacy. When I am ready to look into purchasing something, I will investigate its merits. Otherwise, all this advertising is something I am quite happy to ignore all the time.
I have said NO to the mainstream media for more than 20 years. Have I missed anything of importance? Nope. The real objective of saying no is to get rid of all the crap clogging up your life.
I couldn’t have come across anything better than this message in this moment. I’d restack every paragraph but instead I’m cross posting the whole thing. From the work environment to the relationships you hit everything on the head. Thank you.
I just had to save this post, I know I'm going to need to come back to it later. Thank you for sharing this! I love the NO list. There's some people in my life who do waaay too many of these things.
I have to say no to mixing politics with psychiatry, psychoanalysis and psychotherapy. If you look at assertiveness from a political perspective, it is simply about power. You assert your own power. Silencing dissent or excluding people from a plattform is an act of power.
How great would it be if the series of "Nos" you offer could be posted on refrigerators everywhere, as regular reminder about boundaries!
Christopher Rufo and Josh Slocum might have some decent insights if they could get off the "women are to blame for everything" train. I have watched a couple of Josh's videos. He is a bully. This was my first encounter with Rufo and it will be my last. IMO linking to their sites is condoning so I think I should leave this here:
And from Margaret Joe, a member of the Yukon Legislative Assembly,
a brief quote by Margaret Atwood.
“‘Why do men feel threatened by women?’ I asked a male friend of mine.
“‘They are afraid women will laugh at them’, he said, ‘undercut their world view.’
“Then I asked some women students, ‘Why do women feel threatened by men?’ “‘They are afraid of being killed,’ they said.”
Hansard transcript from the 2nd session of the 27th Legislature (December 5, 1990).
That's excellent advice and No is a great response and I'm restacking this, thank you.
If you choose to raise your voice - edging into aggression from assertiveness, I know - I find that OUT is louder than NO; a tip I got from Best Paw Forward, a canine obedience class I took back in 20th-century Chicago. With practice I could break up dog scuffles; at the height of my powers - I had three huskies - it worked on drunk teenagers, no kidding. You needn't take my word, of course; a little A/B testing will tell you which works better for you and perhaps suggest alternatives. I find a bass growl works wonders, but that's, ah, eccentric.
Great! The link in the post defaults to Amazon so I wasn’t aware of that. Will search the ebook up. Thank you!
Any plans for an ebook version, Nathalie? Would love to buy but the cost of shipping the print book to Australia doubles the price. I also think if you had an ebook option it would sell like hotcakes! So many of us could benefit from it.
That's funny given what I said to someone last night which was "No nu nu nu nu nu o na na na no NO NO." .......about three times. She was coming at me with a metronome while I was playing the song we were rehearsing. Since our director wasn't there that night she decided she would direct me. PAH! I just kept playing. When she said it was too fast, I sped it up a bit. Trust me, if you knew all the back stories (which I will spare you...) you would know that as SOON as there is a lack of leadership she tries to take over. As SOON as you give her an inch she has something negative or PRIVATE to say about someone. She is relentless. Then she said "we should do #347 next" to which I replied. "okay everyone , open your hymnals to 123" .........N.....................o.....!
As you age and hopefully gain some wisdom and no longer care what anyone thinks about you, it becomes easier to say no. One thing I say NO to is the endless advertising and marketing that seeps into every corner of my privacy. When I am ready to look into purchasing something, I will investigate its merits. Otherwise, all this advertising is something I am quite happy to ignore all the time.
I have said NO to the mainstream media for more than 20 years. Have I missed anything of importance? Nope. The real objective of saying no is to get rid of all the crap clogging up your life.
I couldn’t have come across anything better than this message in this moment. I’d restack every paragraph but instead I’m cross posting the whole thing. From the work environment to the relationships you hit everything on the head. Thank you.
I just had to save this post, I know I'm going to need to come back to it later. Thank you for sharing this! I love the NO list. There's some people in my life who do waaay too many of these things.
I have always said:
"It is OK to say No".
Basically, do not feel trapped by guilt. If you think a yes will not do you any good, then default to No.
I have to say no to mixing politics with psychiatry, psychoanalysis and psychotherapy. If you look at assertiveness from a political perspective, it is simply about power. You assert your own power. Silencing dissent or excluding people from a plattform is an act of power.