Wow! What a comprehensive piece. This is such great advice for anyone in this hellish situation. I just want to say to any reader who is going through this, that often when in the middle of these situations, we struggle to believe the 'theory' we read. However, reviewing this through the lens of my own work related nightmare, this works. Don't seek revenge, do carry on being yourself, integrity intact, don't be afraid and do the opposite of what your persecutors think you will do. Eventually it's all over and we have to live with who we are and what we do. Don't stoop to their base level. You know you're better than they are - thats why they came after you. So hold on to that.
I live this every day, several times in the evening and a lot on the weekends. I wish I could have read this years ago, instead of having to live it to learn it. When you are their focus, sorry for you. Whenever they open their mouths, they are baiting you. If you are not careful with your reply, it is the end of you, life, family, career, friends, they will all hear the most horrific things about you, things you would never do, so convincing they are, even the police believe them. It does not help to deny anything, because they have more proof to pin on you. They are basically perfect at displaying your faults (and also imaginary faults of yours) to everyone, until you are laid bare for the world to see, and you have to gather yourself and your soul, piece yourself together, step up, and live your best life. If the whole world knows your faults intimately, then you have nothing to be ashamed of, either everyone still likes you or they don't. I am mostly free, as I live knowing what I say and do is bait to her, I try my hardest not to give her something to grab hold of, so avoiding baiting questions, has helped a lot, also learning her triggers which change according to the weather has helped. Revenge does not work, only silence and grey rock. They are masters of revenge, and we are not wired that way, which is why it hurts so much. They feel nothing, your emotions mean nothing to them, your tears mean nothing, basically if you have nothing to offer, you mean nothing to them. Also having the support of someone does help you with the strength to live your best life, my support is my two daughters, the three of us are so strong together, as we have suffered horribly together until we put ourselves together to be stronger, still scared and wary, but stronger. Your articles are so correct, it is amazing for me to read it as I live it, thank you.
So actionable! This is the perfect protection if you've started to doubt your motives or abilities in the twilight world created by a psychological assailant. I bet your maligner underestimated what you could do with their aggression and how your insight would help others! Hope it helps to know that you've made others smarter and stronger
Thank you for this. So much. It’s a detailed blueprint for dealing with these kinds of situations that obviously took a lot of care and we are grateful. This is just what I needed.
My favorite pastor, Dr. David Walker of LACRS had a lovely way to deal with this. He said that it is important to forgive another person of their sins in order to move on in one's life. But in order to do so, it does not require the person to forget what the offense was.
Wow! What a comprehensive piece. This is such great advice for anyone in this hellish situation. I just want to say to any reader who is going through this, that often when in the middle of these situations, we struggle to believe the 'theory' we read. However, reviewing this through the lens of my own work related nightmare, this works. Don't seek revenge, do carry on being yourself, integrity intact, don't be afraid and do the opposite of what your persecutors think you will do. Eventually it's all over and we have to live with who we are and what we do. Don't stoop to their base level. You know you're better than they are - thats why they came after you. So hold on to that.
I live this every day, several times in the evening and a lot on the weekends. I wish I could have read this years ago, instead of having to live it to learn it. When you are their focus, sorry for you. Whenever they open their mouths, they are baiting you. If you are not careful with your reply, it is the end of you, life, family, career, friends, they will all hear the most horrific things about you, things you would never do, so convincing they are, even the police believe them. It does not help to deny anything, because they have more proof to pin on you. They are basically perfect at displaying your faults (and also imaginary faults of yours) to everyone, until you are laid bare for the world to see, and you have to gather yourself and your soul, piece yourself together, step up, and live your best life. If the whole world knows your faults intimately, then you have nothing to be ashamed of, either everyone still likes you or they don't. I am mostly free, as I live knowing what I say and do is bait to her, I try my hardest not to give her something to grab hold of, so avoiding baiting questions, has helped a lot, also learning her triggers which change according to the weather has helped. Revenge does not work, only silence and grey rock. They are masters of revenge, and we are not wired that way, which is why it hurts so much. They feel nothing, your emotions mean nothing to them, your tears mean nothing, basically if you have nothing to offer, you mean nothing to them. Also having the support of someone does help you with the strength to live your best life, my support is my two daughters, the three of us are so strong together, as we have suffered horribly together until we put ourselves together to be stronger, still scared and wary, but stronger. Your articles are so correct, it is amazing for me to read it as I live it, thank you.
So actionable! This is the perfect protection if you've started to doubt your motives or abilities in the twilight world created by a psychological assailant. I bet your maligner underestimated what you could do with their aggression and how your insight would help others! Hope it helps to know that you've made others smarter and stronger
Knowledge translation at its best!
Thank you for this. So much. It’s a detailed blueprint for dealing with these kinds of situations that obviously took a lot of care and we are grateful. This is just what I needed.
Post saved.
My favorite pastor, Dr. David Walker of LACRS had a lovely way to deal with this. He said that it is important to forgive another person of their sins in order to move on in one's life. But in order to do so, it does not require the person to forget what the offense was.
So wise
You are welcome. Keep up the fantastic work!